Surrender my Heart (The Subzero Series) Read online

  “Who is this chap?” I asked.

  “This is Matthew Mayfield. His music soothes my soul.” She said.

  I hit play and immediately feel myself start to relax. Chloe was right. This music really does soothe the soul.

  ...

  Christmas with my family was a nice distraction though neither my head nor my heart was really into it. I think my mum noticed because she tried talking me into staying through the New Year, which she has never done before. I considered it for a moment before declining. My mood seemed to be stuck in one spot and I didn’t want to bring anyone else down or ruin anyone’s celebrations because I am being such a downer.

  Plus it’s not like I’ll be completely alone. I usually spend New Year’s Eve over at Dean’s and will likely do the same this year. That’s not for a few days though and I need to find something to do now take my mind off of things. I put on the telly but there’s nothing on. I try to sleep but I end up laying there for hours while my thoughts are running wildly through my mind. I need to do something to get them out. There’s a notebook and pen lying on the nightstand by my bed. I grab it, open it to the first free page I see and start writing.

  Fall into my Heart

  Written by Jack Riley

  Heart thumping

  Heart breaking

  Tears coming

  Tears flowing

  A love so strong

  Felt like shattering

  When you took that

  Fall into my heart

  Caring so much for a love

  That seems to be done

  Thoughts whirling

  Thoughts drowning

  Aching to touch

  Aching to feel

  You fall back into my heart

  Eyes open

  Eyes closed

  Your image always remains

  Dreams fleeting

  Dreams tormenting

  Of your phantom touch

  Reach out

  Reach for me

  As you fall back into my heart

  Typically, I play either my acoustic or my bass while I’m writing, but this time the words just poured out of me so quickly that I didn’t have the chance to grab either one until after I was finished.

  I grab my Ovation Pro Balladeer from the stand in the corner of my room and play a couple of chords before I find the right one. My eyes close and I start strumming, allowing the beautiful sound of my acoustic guitar to overtake my bedroom. I play for hours, at times just strumming whatever melody comes to me and other times I play and sing the song I just wrote. A song about the love I have for Chloe.

  Eventually, I put my guitar down and grab my phone to call Noah.

  “Hey man,” I say when he answers the phone. “I’ve just written a song. It may not be our normal style but I think it’s pretty good. Mind if I come play it for you?”

  Chapter Six

  Someone is banging incessantly at my door. When I say banging, I mean like literally beating the door down. I glance through the peephole and see a short girl with long curly blonde hair and she looks positively furious. I consider ignoring her. I mean she hasn’t seen me. For all she knows I’m not here.

  “I know you’re in there you big stupid dummy. Open up the door Jack,” Jocalyn yells.

  Reluctantly, I open up the door and she flies in like a little blonde fireball. I close the door and barely turn around before she lets me have it.

  “What is your problem you gigantic ass?” Jocalyn yells as she throws both of her hands up in the air. “What’s your deal Jack? You act like Mr. Charming rock guy, get girls to fall for you and then you hit a bump in the road and then it’s all “that’s it...it was nice to know you?”

  I open my mouth to speak but she puts her finger in my face to shut me up.

  “I’m not finished. You really hurt her. You let some guy come in here, spout off his mouth and you just accept it as the truth? You don’t ask her about it? You don’t fight for her? Did you even like her at all or was it just an excuse to ditch her? You’re an ass you...you...you big stupid dummy!”

  “You already said that one.”

  Jocalyn gives me a dirty look as she flops down on my couch. I sit down next to her and sigh.

  “Of course I like her. If you honestly think this has been easy for me than you’re wrong.”

  “So why haven’t you talked to her?”

  I shrug. “Embarrassment mostly. How do you question someone’s moral character and come back from that when you realize you were wrong? Sorry doesn’t seem to be enough.”

  “Maybe not but it’s a start. You’re punishing her for something she didn’t do. You didn’t just hurt her then Jack. You’re continuing to hurt her every day that passes without a phone call or an apology.”

  “This whole thing is killing me,” I say. “I can’t stand the thought that I probably ruined what we had. I want her back so badly. It’s like I’ve been missing a part of myself for these last three weeks.”

  “Oh...My...GOD!” Jocalyn squeals as she jumps up to her feet and points at me. “You love her! You so love her!”

  “You’re right I do.” I admit.

  “So why are you sitting here? You have to go to her Jack!”

  “No, I’m going to wait until she gets back to talk to her.”

  “No don’t wait! Do you have any idea how terribly romantic it would be if you went to her?”

  “She’s visiting her family. I don’t want to impose.”

  “Stop making excuses! Be a man and go get her.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  Jocalyn crosses her arms over her chest, narrows her eyes and shakes her head.

  “Not good enough.”

  “Jocalyn –“

  “Jackson.”

  “Look, I’m gonna get some sleep and in the morning I’ll call Tyler and see what he thinks about me going there.”

  “I’m not leaving here until you book a ticket.”

  I throw my hands up in the air as I hop up to my feet. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes! You owe her a grand romantic gesture. You need to show her you’ll do whatever it takes to get her back.”

  “I will do whatever it takes.”

  She points to my laptop, which is sitting on top of the coffee table.

  “Then book the damn ticket Jack. YOU go to HER.”

  I sigh and grab my laptop. I sit back down on the couch and power it up. I can’t believe I’m going to do this. Just show up like that. I pull up a couple websites for different airlines so that I can see who has the best prices and availability.

  “You know this is like a seven hour flight, right?”

  Jocalyn sticks her hands on her hips and glares at me. “I’m sorry, are you complaining about this Jack?”

  “Nope, just stating a fact.”

  Maybe I was complaining just a little bit but I wasn’t going to admit that to her. To be quite honest, Jocalyn may be small but she is kind of scary. She’s like a cross between a Shih Tzu and a Doberman. You want to pat her on the head because she looks all cute and she’s kind of yappy, but at the same time you have to worry she might bite your face off.

  “Alright...flight is booked. I leave in two days.”

  Jocalyn clasps her hands together over her heart. “New Year’s Eve! That is so romantic!”

  She sighs with a dreamy look in her eyes and I make a face at her.

  “Has anyone ever told you that you can be terribly annoying?” I ask jokingly.

  “Pretty much on a daily basis,” She shrugs. “But I just don’t care.”

  ...

  I got up early the next morning to start packing and to figure out where I am going to stay once I get to New York. The problem with trying to book a hotel room the day before New Year’s Eve is that there aren’t any available hotel rooms to book! I’ve called ten different places and every one of them said they were completely booked. Putting my laptop on the couch next to me, I sit back, prop one foot up on the coffee
table and punch Tyler’s number into my phone.

  “Ah Mister Riley, what can I do for you?” Tyler answers his phone without bothering to say hello.

  “I need your help with something.”

  “Aces...I’m in.”

  “You don’t even know what I need.”

  “True, but I do like a little bit of adventure and I always say a life without adventure is like –“

  “I’m coming to New York.” I say cutting him off.

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  “Seriously Tyler? Yes, I’m coming to New York.”

  “Dude that’s awesome!”

  “Do me a favor and don’t mention anything to Chloe.”

  “Uh huh okay. When do you land?”

  “Tomorrow evening at eight o’clock. It’s not the best but it was the only flight I could get at the last minute.”

  “Oh that’s perfect.”

  “Only problem is I can’t find a hotel with any vacant rooms and I need a ride from the airport.”

  “No, we’ll take care of it.”

  “Thanks Tyler. Look, I got to go but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Alright mate.”

  After talking with Tyler, I feel a little more confident about seeing Chloe but I am utterly terrified as well. A million thoughts keep running through my head. What if she’s moved on? What if she wants nothing to do with me? What if she won’t give me a chance to explain myself and my actions? I honestly can’t say I blame her if she refuses to listen to me. I mean, I did the same thing to her. That’s the difference between me and her though. If the situation was reversed there is no way she would have dumped me and walked away without getting an explanation from me first.

  This has to go well though. This is the only chance I will get to redeem myself. If I blow this, things between us will be over for sure. Then I’ll have to get back here and move out straight away. There’s no way I could continue living across the hall from her if we don’t get back together. I can’t watch her go out on dates with other guys.

  A few hours later, I get a text from Tyler.

  Tyler – Plan in motion! Talked to Chloe’s parents. You can stay here but you and I have to room together.

  Me – Better than sleeping on the street. Thanks!

  Tyler – Sure thing, also her dad is picking you up at the airport.

  Me – That won’t be awkward.

  Tyler – True but it beats walking! Also, there’s a few things you should know.

  Me – Okay...

  Tyler – Chloe hasn’t been acting very...Chloe.

  Me – What’s that supposed to mean?

  Tyler – Nothing like that. She went to go skydiving the other day and came back with a tattoo.

  Me – That’s kind of hot.

  Tyler – Yeah well I’m pretty sure it’s all a part of some “get over Jack” thing.

  Me – Guess it’s a good thing I’m coming there then.

  Get over Jack thing? Now I really hope this works. The last thing I want her to do is get over me. Why did I have to be so stubborn these past few weeks? It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I’ll get to New York and we’ll talk. I’ll grovel at her feet if I have to. We’ll get back together and everything will work out...right? God, I hope so.

  Chapter Seven

  That was the longest flight of my entire life. Not because it was seven and a half hours but because I knew I was going to see her soon. I thought about that the whole flight. Well, that and the fact that her dad is picking me up from the airport. Of all of the people that could have possibly picked me up, I had to get her dad. If Chloe has been as upset as I’ve been told, then he has to know what happened between us. That won’t make for an awkward car ride at all!

  I walk out of the gate and start looking through the sea of faces to see if I can spot any fatherly types that look angry. Maybe someone that looks like he might be hiding a weapon somewhere but everyone I see looks pretty happy. I spot a guy craning his neck, clearly searching for someone and I walk up to him.

  “Mr. Carver?” I ask.

  “Yes, you must be Jack Riley.”

  “Yes sir.”

  He stares me up and down and says “Thank God you are not a crayon.”

  I chuckle imagining his reaction to seeing Tyler for the first time.

  My heart starts beating wildly with anticipation at the thought of seeing Chloe.

  “So, you’re Chloe’s boyfriend?” Mr. Carver asks once we are settled in his car and on our way towards his house.

  “Well I was but...”

  “It didn’t work out?”

  “Something like that.”

  “That’s what she said as well but that can’t possibly be true. I mean you don’t drop in at the last minute from another country to see someone that things simply didn’t work out with.”

  “I made a mistake and I’m attempting to fix it.”

  “It takes a big person to admit their mistakes.”

  “I just pray she listens to what I have to say, although I don’t really deserve it.”

  “She will. She hasn’t said much about you but what she did say was good.”

  I don’t know what else to say so I just nod my head and pray this car ride ends soon. Unfortunately, we end up getting stuck in a massive traffic jam. We end up sitting at a standstill for so long we are forced to strike up some small talk. Thankfully we steer clear of talking any more about relationships. We stick to manlier topics such as sports and music and the weather in New York compared to London.

  By the time we pull up to the house, guests are already starting to arrive for the Carver’s annual New Year’s Eve bash. Mrs. Carver shows me to the guest room that I will be sharing with Tyler. It has its own bathroom, so I decide to jump in the shower really quickly. It’s been a few weeks since the last time Chloe and I actually saw each other and I was already nervous enough about seeing her tonight. If she made the decision to run away from me, I didn’t want it to be because I reek of an unflattering combination of B.O. and stale airplane air. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, I am showered, dressed and ready to win back the woman I love.

  I walk down to the first floor and glance around a bit but I don’t see her. Mrs. Carver catches my attention and points towards the stairs that lead to the basement. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I’m surprised it doesn’t break right through. I feel so unbelievably nervous as I make my way down the stairs but then suddenly there she is, across the room talking to Tyler, Abby and two people I don’t know.

  “Chloe.” I say as I walk up behind her.

  She glances down at the red cup in her hand. I’m assuming she’s trying to figure out how drunk she is. She slowly turns to me and it takes everything I have to not immediately pull her into my arms.

  “Uh...what are you doing here?” She asks.

  This is it. This is my time to fix this mess I had created, to win her back. God I hope I don’t mess this up any more than it already is. I take a deep breath.

  “Chloe, I am an idiot. A complete ass. I should have never listened to that guy. I should have had more faith in you. I had no right to say the things I said to you. I should have listened to you and let you tell your side of the story and I didn’t see that then but I know it now.”

  All conversations around us stop as everyone turns to stare at us. It makes me feel uncomfortable but I try my best to block them out and focus only on her. Chloe blushes bright red. My God she looks lovely. Okay, Jack, focus. You need to finish saying what you came to say and maybe after that you will be able to gawk at her all you want. I bite my bottom lip and run my hands through my hair.

  “I know I am probably too late and I completely understand if you never want to talk to me again. If you don’t then I promise I will leave you alone. I just...I had to come here and tell you I that I was wrong and that I miss you and that I love you and that I am so, so unbelievably sorry.”


  I wait and...nothing. She says absolutely nothing to me. She just stands there staring as though she is looking straight through me. I can feel every single pair of eyes in the room staring at me. I feel pathetic and I’m sure I look pitiful. She’s not going to talk to me. I don’t know why I thought she would. I need to just leave; grab my stuff and go back to the airport.

  “I probably shouldn’t have come,” I say. “I’m really sorry for interrupting your party. I guess I’ll go.”

  I feel so deflated but I can’t say I blame her. If I was her, I probably wouldn’t want to take me back either. I give her one last look before turning around and walking towards the stairs as quickly as I possibly can. Tears begin to well up in my eyes and I am silently begging myself not to cry little a girl in front of all of these people.

  Behind me I hear Abby hiss Chloe’s name. At least I know she is on my side.

  Just as I reach the stairs she calls out to me. “Jack...wait.”

  I turn back towards her and our eyes lock. Her lower lip trembles and my knees go weak.

  “Stay.” She says.

  Thank God.

  I need to touch her, to feel her so that I know this is really happening. I practically run across the room wanting to get to her as quickly as possible and, once I do, I take her face in my hands and press my lips to hers.

  I could have kissed her all night long. Lord knows I wanted to. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that we were in her parent’s basement surrounded by a bunch of people I didn’t know.

  Everyone around us starts chatting amongst themselves again as Chloe pulls me into a corner. My arms immediately snake around her waist and I hold her close to me. It feels so good to hold her and touch her again. There is no way I am letting go of her anytime soon.

  “I’m so sorry baby.” I say.

  “I’m sorry too, “She says. “I should have told you about Connor. I just...I didn’t want you to think I had all of this baggage and I certainly didn’t think he’d come looking for me.”

  “I know and you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who acted like a jerk. Do you think you could forgive me?”

  She glances up at me, giving me this look like I am crazy for asking.

  “Of course I do! I just want to put all of this behind us. This whole thing...it’s just been a nightmare.”