Surrender my Heart (The Subzero Series)

  Surrender my Heart

  The Subzero Series

  by Rebecca Elise

  Published by Rebecca Elise, 2013.

  Surrender my Heart

  Subzero Series Novelette

  Rebecca Elise

  Published by Rebecca Elise

  Copyright © 2013 Rebecca Elise

  Cover by RE Publishing

  Cover Photo by Roman Barelko

  This novel is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to people either living or deceased is purely coincidental. Names, places and characters are figments of the author’s imagination. The author holds all rights to this work. It is illegal to reproduce this novel without written expressed consent from the author herself.

  All Rights Reserved

  The author recognizes the copyrights or trademark status and trademark owners for the following brands mentioned in this work of fiction : Rickenbacker, Ovation, Johnny Walker Black Label, Jack Daniels.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  To everyone that expressed desire to know where Jack's head was, this book is for you.

  Chapter One

  I am so knackered. I literally feel as though I could sleep for days, if not weeks. If we aren’t at the recording studio working on our new album, we are rehearsing for shows and today is no exception. This will be a tough rehearsal to get through though because we have the next few days off. I love what I do and wouldn’t trade it for the world but I am looking forward to the down time and to spending time with my girlfriend, Chloe.

  Chloe.

  Just the thought of her makes me smile like a fool. I know it’s still a newish relationship but I haven’t felt this strongly about someone in a long time. She’s beautiful and smart and she puts up with our array of ridiculousness without breaking a sweat. Speaking of ridiculousness...I glance at the clock. It’s time to go meet the boys at Dean’s house. I grab my black and white Rickenbacker and gently slide it into my black mono case. I slip a couple of picks into the side pocket and pick it up, slinging the straps over my shoulder. Then, after shoving my cellphone into my pocket and grabbing my keys, I am on my way.

  I open up my door and am surprised to see an overly tanned, somewhat muscular guy sitting on the floor, leaning up against the door to Chloe’s flat. He is busy scrolling on his cellphone and doesn’t glance up as I walk into the hall. I quickly lock my door and turn back to face him.

  “Hello there mate,” I say. “Can I help you with something?”

  He peeks up, gives me an odd look and returns to playing with his cellphone. “No.”

  Okay.....let’s try this again.

  “Mind if I ask who you are waiting for?”

  “I’m waiting for you to mind your own business. Does that count?”

  “It is my business when you’re leaning up against my girlfriend’s door.”

  The guy furrows his brow. “Didn’t Abby just get here? I mean the girl can move fast but.....wow!” He widens his eyes, blows out his breath and shakes his head.

  “Abby isn’t my girlfriend. Her sister, Chloe, is.”

  A pained look crosses the blonde guys face for a second before he bursts into laughter. “Oh that’s rich. That’s just rich!”

  Now I’m confused.

  “I’m sorry, who are you?” I ask.

  “Oh where are my manners?” He jumps up to his feet and extends his hand out to me. “Names Connor Scott. I’m Chloe’s fiancé.”

  “Rubbish.” I say.

  “You really think that a hot little thing like Chloe wouldn’t have someone waiting at home?” Connor shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “Okay, clearly you did. Look.....what’s your name?”

  “Jack”

  “Look, Jack, I’m not sure what bullshit Chloe has been feeding you but we got engaged a couple months ago.”

  Connor presses a few buttons on his cellphone and turns it around to me. On the screen is a picture of him and Chloe. He is holding up her left hand, which is sporting a massive diamond on a very important finger. They both look unbelievably happy.

  My heart drops into my stomach. Could she really be engaged to another man? No. there’s no way she would do that to me.

  “I take it by the look on your face she hasn’t mentioned me.”

  “No, not once.”

  Connor’s brow furrows and his mouth turns down into a frown. “Well, you seem like a nice guy, Jack, so I’m going to give it to you straight up like she should have done. Chloe and I have been together for a few years. We lived together back in New York and we got engaged in January. We’re getting married next year and then I’m moving here to be with her. I’m sorry if she led you on. She’s always been a little boy crazy.”

  Then, to add insult to injury, Connor scrolls on his phone again and shows me a copy of their engagement announcement that had appeared in the newspaper.

  “Did she know you were coming here?” I ask.

  “Do you think I’d be sitting out in the hall if she did? No, I wanted to surprise her.”

  I study his face, praying his smile will somehow falter and he will admit this was a joke, but he doesn’t. It is taking every ounce of willpower that I possess to not punch the smug look off of his face. That’s what I really want to do. I want to haul off like a raging lunatic and hit him. I have to get away from him. I turn away and push through the doors leading to the stairs.

  This is unbelievable. It’s Courtney Billings all over again. Courtney was my last girlfriend. We dated for a year and I was sure she was the one. I thought she felt the same way about me until she came to one of our shows with her husband. God I felt like such an idiot. An entire year and I had no idea she was married! She spent numerous nights with me at my flat. We went on holiday with my mum and dad for god sakes. When I asked her why, she told me it was because her husband worked a lot and she needed someone for when he wasn’t around. She said she was just looking for a boy toy to keep her sheets warm at night and she didn’t think we would fall for each other. Then she has the nerve to ask me if I would consider continuing to see her behind her husband’s back. She said she loved me so much and didn’t want to let me go. I asked her if she loved me so much than why was she still with him. She said it was because she loved him too and she was “taken care of” which meant she didn’t have to work. I told her I didn’t share my girlfriends with anyone and walked away but I was weak and ended up going back to her.

  One night shortly after that, I was out and I ran into her friend, Nan. Nan told me she couldn’t watch this dramatic mess any longer and that is when I realized the full extent of Courtney’s lies. For starters, her name wasn’t even Courtney. It was Gillian. Courtney was the name of her daughter. That’s right, her daughter! She had two freaking kids! Apparently, she had been dropping them on Nan when she was with me. The only bit of truth that she even told me was that her husband traveled a lot for work.

  The more I think about it, the more the two situations seem alike to me and I begin to dwell and dwell on it until I can’t see any different between Courtney and Chloe. I’m not going to be anyone else’s replacement. I did that once and it sucked. I have to protect myself this time.

  By the time I get to Dean’s, my mood has going from being bad to being furiously worse. My cell phone goes off just as I get out of my truck. I pull my phone out and glance at the display.

  Chloe.

  Hitting the ignore button, I shove my phone back in
to my pocket. I yank my guitar bag out of the backseat of my truck and fling it over my shoulder so harshly I am surprised that the strap didn’t break. A string of profanities fly out of my mouth as I angrily stomp my way into Dean’s house and down to his basement.

  “Whoa!” Dean exclaims as I slam the door shut behind me.

  I flash him a dirty look.

  “Hey now, who took a tiny tinkle in your afternoon tea princess?” Tyler asks.

  I shot him an even dirtier look.

  My cellphone rings again.

  Chloe.....again.

  Ignore.

  “Are we playing or what?” I ask angrily.

  “You want to talk about whatever it is that has your knickers in a bunch? Noah asks.

  “Nope.”

  “Okay.....let’s just play. If he decides he wants to talk, he’ll talk.” Dean says.

  We get our instruments set up and Tyler counts us in by tapping his sticks on his drums. We are only playing for about a minute when everybody stops and stares at me. That’s when I realize I’m not even playing the right song.

  “You know what,” I say. “I’m just not into this today.”

  I don’t want to give them the chance to say anything so I grab my case and walk out. I don’t bother putting my bass in it until I get to my truck.

  I probably should have just stayed. At least I would have given myself an opportunity to get my mind off of everything for a little while. It would have only been a matter of time, though, before they started a full on interrogation as to why I was in such an unusually foul mood and I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to go there with anyone right now including her. I know she’s going to call again but I don’t want to talk to her. Not until I figure out what to say to her anyway.

  Chapter Two

  It’s been a couple of days and she is still calling me and I am still ignoring her. I still don’t know what to say to her. My head and my heart are so conflicted. My head says I should talk to her but my heart doesn’t want to be destroyed by her and her omissions.

  I need to get out of my flat. I can’t think properly here plus I need to apologize to my band mates for my behavior the other night. They haven’t tried to talk to me and I can’t say that I blame them. I acted like a first class ass.

  The lift is broken again – big surprise – so I head to the stairs. As soon as I start down them, I see her walking up.

  Perfect.....this is just perfect.

  I try to look at her but all I can see is Courtney’s – Gillian’s – face. I can’t look at her without thinking about husbands and fiancés and lies, lies, lies!

  She awkwardly asks me what time we are meeting for that charity thing and I rudely tell her we aren’t.

  Her face falls.

  My heart aches.

  I have to tell her that I know her little secret but once those words leave my mouth that’s it. There’s no coming back from that.

  “Well I think maybe you should go with your fiancé.” I say.

  She starts to say something but I’m not even listening to her. I just start yelling at her. She tries a couple of times to explain but I just keep cutting her off. I’m being a total jerk, I know I am. I finally look at her and see the tears welling up in her eyes. My heart constricts. For a moment I feel bad but then all of the sudden...I don’t. She knows what’s coming, or she at least has an idea, I can see it on her face.

  “I really, really liked you Chloe.” I hear myself saying. “I’m just...I can’t do this. I can’t be the other guy, some fling, your replacement boyfriend. I’m done...We’re done.”

  Chloe starts to cry as she pushes past me and runs up the steps.

  I feel numb. There is a part of me that wants to run after her and take it all back but I did that once before and I was the one that ended up brokenhearted and alone. I know I hurt her. I’m hurting too.

  I walk outside to my truck and stand there for a moment leaning on my forearms against the truck bed. I want to scream and curse and let the entire world know how I feel. Instead I straighten up and start kicking the hell out of my tires.

  “Well this seems like an unfair fight. Poor tire can’t even defend itself from a strapping young lad such as yourself.” Tyler says as he appears next to me. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on now?”

  “Nope.”

  “Heard you guys broke up.”

  “Yup.”

  “She seems to be pretty gutted.”

  “She’s not the only one.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “You might feel be-“

  “I said I don’t want to talk about it.” I yell out, cutting him off.

  “Okay, okay. So what do you want to do?”

  “Get completely pissed and forget this day ever happened.”

  “Ahhhh, so consume loads of alcohol and wallow in the pool of loathing and self-pity. Count me in.”

  Tyler runs around to the side of my truck and jumps in the passenger seat. I climb in the driver’s seat, turn the truck on and the sounds of Coldplay immediately starts flowing through the speakers. Chloe’s favorite band. I reach over and switch the radio off. I don’t want anything right now that will make me think about her. Not that switching off the radio really helps. I don’t think it matters what I do. She’s still on my mind. They may not be the best thoughts at the moment, but still.....she’s there.

  “So where are we going?” Tyler asks as I maneuver my truck out of the parking lot.

  I think for a moment. “Mariano’s.”

  Tyler’s face sours. “Why on earth would you pick there?”

  “Because I know she won’t show up there.”

  “She still has a name and trust me when I say that girl isn’t leaving her bedroom let alone her flat.”

  I don’t say anything to that.

  Mariano’s is a bar located in the dodgy part of town. Not somewhere I usually hang out but they play a lot of heavy metal and loud, angry music is what I need right now. We open the door and are hit by the musty scent of dust and booze. It’s just about supper time so there isn’t a live band playing yet but there is a DJ, or someone who is acting like one anyway, on hand to keep the mood about the place sullen and angsty. The lighting is dim which only adds to the grim and grimy ambiance. The sound of balls knocking together rings through the air between drum beats and guitar riffs as a couple of people play at the billiards tables off to the right side of the bar. There is only a handful of people occupying the bar area. Tyler and I pick the two stools that are the farthest away from everyone.

  A middle aged bartender with greasy graying hair and an obvious beer belly walks over to where are sitting.

  “What can I getcha?” He grunts out.

  “I would like a pint of the best ale ya got in the place” Tyler says, flashing the bartender a toothy grin.

  He’s way too damn chipper.

  The bartender thinks so too. He raises an eyebrow and gives Tyler an odd look before turning to me.

  “And you?”

  “Two shots of Johnny Walker Black.”

  The bartender nods and walks away.

  Tyler and I sit there in silence. He is drumming his finger tips on top of the bar and judging by the look on his face, I’d guess he was trying to think of something to say. I wish he wouldn’t. I don’t really want to talk.

  The bartender sets our drinks on the bar in front of us, spilling a little bit of beer as he does. I immediately pick up my shots and down them. Before the bartender has the chance to walk away, I grab his arm.

  “Two more.” I say.

  He looks back and forth between me and Tyler but doesn’t say anything. He just nods his head and turns to grab the bottle.

  “You sure about this?” Tyler asks. The obvious concern for me and my actions is radiating from his eyes.

  I nod as the bartender sets two new shots in front of me. I down them as quickly as I did my first two, barely flinch
ing at the nasty taste as I told up two fingers to let him know I want two more shots.

  “I’m not gonna have any problem out of you two am I?” He asks.

  “No, sir, no trouble from us. You have my word. This poor bloke here is just mending a broken heart is all.” Tyler says holding his hands out in front of himself and then pointing at me.

  “All right.....two more but after this you may want to slow down a little bit.”

  I nod only half listening and half caring about what he is saying to me.

  He brings me two more shots and I down them.

  “Want to talk yet?”

  “Not even a little.”

  “Alright, I’m going to step out and give Abby a ring. I just ran out on her when Chloe came in crying. Just want to let her know I’m gonna stay with you. Be right back.”

  I give Tyler a two fingered salute as he slides off of the barstool and walks away. A song flows out over the speakers that I have never heard before. It’s haunting and beautiful and it causes my heart to numb just from the sound of the piano being played at the very beginning. I’m almost surprised to hear this sort of song being played in a place like this. It makes me wonder if someone specifically requested it. Glancing around the bar, I see a drunk girl fiddling with the straw in her drink as she sings along to the music. I guess I’m not the only person in here nursing a broken heart tonight.

  Tyler slaps his hand on my back as he hops back onto the barstool next to me. “Alright, got things squared away with the little woman and I am yours for the evening. What are you gawking at?”

  He follows my eyes to the girl who was singing, but is now doing more crying into her drink than anything else.

  “Please tell me you aren’t looking for a rebound.”

  I roll my eyes and give him a disgusted look. “No, of course I’m not. That’s not what this is about.”

  “So what is it about then?”

  “It’s about thinking you have something and someone and finding out that something and someone were never really yours to begin with.”

  “I’m sorry, not following you.”

  “I need another drink.”